THE GREATER-SPOTTED ENGLISH RESIDENT

There is a strange breed of bird in Madrid – the greater-spotted English teacher.
In contrast with the lesser-spotted American (much rarer), the blue-titted Scottish (females are timid and have too-beautiful manners), and the variegated Irish (gaudy and gregarious), the Anglicus Anglicus is a secretive sort, preferring the "shady" cover of its new habitat..
A range of specimens include:
- those migrating in search of a mate (even though they pretend they´re not)
- those fleeing the nest (and mate)
- those not coping in their British flock (parents, job)
- those without means to feather their nest (the feathers belong to the bank).
Some rarer specimens, hideous nonetheless, change their plumage to suit their new surroundings:
- an altered song (mid-Atlantic drawl for the cocks, usually),
- creatively-accounted past (or even present)
– involving camoflage as another species (or income bracket),
- or attempt entering, a flock, cuckoo-like, where their former habitat habits will go unrecognised – such as…
...the nervous twitch
...the pretence at heterosexuality
...the unusable bank cards
...complete stark raving lunacy…
But it all comes out in the wash – or at least its slip is showing: wherever the migratory path, you take your distinctive plumage, song, habits, and the weather with you.
´Course, none of this applies to me – the common or garden sparrow can live anywhere!
Comments, anyone?